To Andrew, On St. Andrew's Day

Dear Andrew,

I write this to you a day after my 28th birthday.  In case I wont be around to impart this twisted wisdom to you in person on YOUR 28th birthday I felt I would put it in writing.

Firstly, the significance of your name and today's date:  My middle name Andrew was given to me by your very Catholic grandfather, as I was born a day before St. Andrew's day, which falls on the 30th of November.  Your mother liked my middle name, so we named you Andrew.  

Twenty-eight isn't one of those  landmark years, like 13 or 18 or 21.  In reality its one above 27 and a couple away from 30.  If, like myself, you haven't quite figured your life out, I have sad news for you:

You're fucked.

BUT

The great thing about 28 is you now have 336 months of life experiences under your belt.  You may still make bad decisions, but not as bad as a decade ago.  You know a lot more people than you did 5 years ago, and you're a better judge of character than you were last year.  Use that to you advantage.


Take care of your siblings (though as I write this you have none, and none planned for the foreseeable future).  Keep close to your cousins and aunties and uncles.  You can't choose your family.  But they are fucken useful people to have around.  Love, honor, respect and cherish your mother and grandmother.  Dont give these two peopl the grief I gave them.  Treat them special, like the queens that they are.

Don't ever let money come between your family or friends.

Exercise.  You should be at your physical peak right now.  They say its all downhere from here.

Read.  Feed your mind, always look for a new intellectual challenge.

Obey the law.  Drive safely, pay your taxes, etc.

Be considerate, be helpful, be compassionate.  Learn first aid.  DOnate to charity.  Asssit random old people.

Drugs and alcohol are great fun.  But expensive.  And they tend to fuck with your health.  I'd rather you didn't.

Its OK to be socially awkward.  Your grandfather and myself were introverts.  All you have to do is BE YOU.  Don't feel pressured to conform.

But be assertive.  Don't take shit from anyone.  Absolutely no one.

Pray.  I'll never force religion on you.  But prayer helps when one is troubled.  The Bible is an interesting read, you should definitiely give it a try.

Your father was, deep down, a decent honest man.  A jack of all trades but master of none.  But he certainly did try.  He worked hard and he played harder.  An enigmatic, bright but troubled under-achiever. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.


Most importantly my son: I loved you, I love you, and I will always love you.  Never forget that whatever you do in your life

This Facebook post got over 100 likes

 I posted this on the 14th of July and got over a hundred likes.  A summation of my life thus far I guess.

"I've played with people I was told not to, driven drunk, walked in the rain. I've tasted academic success but also flunked out of university twice. Swam naked, lost a tooth, fathered a child. Buried a father and a sister. I've spent many a sleepless night in pain, shaking with alcohol withdrawal. I've worn out pairs of shoes, walking, hustling in Lusaka and Joburg streets. I've bedded more women than I care to count. I've felt the pain of unrequited love. I've spent money on whores and cigarettes and guitars and alcohol. I've watched football in stadiums and screamed my lungs out. I've sat in booths playing music for millions of people. I've made beautiful music myself. I've missed flights, been thrown out of nightclubs and I've cried at funerals. I've had good jobs, I've had bad jobs. I've offended people, I've been offended myself. I've jerked off at my gate. Been in car accidents.
I've been punched, kicked, slapped. I've beaten a few people my self. I've had food poisoning, alcohol poisoning, malaria, and a respiratory infection. I've contemplated suicide, I've talked people out of suicide. I've been the life of a party, I've been a nobody. I've been homeless, I've stayed in some nice hotels.

Life is beautiful. The dizzying heights and the crushing lows. I'm twenty seven years old. I WILL NOT join the club, even though the thought haunts me almost daily. I'm just getting warmed up. Some love me, most hate me. My innings isn't over. Yes, there will be a day when you will have to put me in box and lay me down at Old Leopards Hill. But that day isn't yet here. Favour is eternal, and Nkandu Andrew Kataya is alive and well!"